You May Be A Vampire Player If...
You may be a Vampire player if...
... You go to a movie with Vampires in it and you start trying to identify each one as the the clan they belong to.

... Someone says "that sucks", and you reply by saying "No it doesn't, that's not a Vampire."

... You own either that ahnk necklace or any of the clan pins.

... You own Acrylic fangs.

... You've had a police helicopter shining a spotlight in your courtyard and a pair of cops going door to door looking for a young woman with a gun, and you realize someone saw your freind dressed as a Toreador club rat running back from your car when she got your toy gun for the game (which I guess looks real enough from far away).

... Your Idea of a Wild Saturday night is Making up an Elder vampire and Trying to take over New York.

... You try and ward off the bully with True Faith.

... You try and Dominate "ghouls" to do your homework

... You want to learn/are studying Latin so you can play a more convincing Elder Vampire.

... You refuse to acknowledge daytime exists.

... About half your group are planning world domination...and are using V:tM as a sounding board for their ideas.

... You've ever had occasion to mutter, "Fuck. The cops. Better put the swords away."

... You try and drink someone blood.

... When you see an ugly person the first thing you think is "I wonder if he's Nosferatu."

... People stare at you for "licking your wounds".

... You try and calulate your blood pool.

... You bring sunglasses with you everywhere you go, including the local nightclub on Goth Night.

... You actually have a wooden stake.

... You actually spent money on the VtM CD ROM.

... You started to laugh at the reference to the police helicopter, then realized that it's happened to yourself or someone you know.

... You remember VtM as the reason for the beginning of D&Ds downfall.

... You actually own a bunch of Jyhad cards, and furthermore think that Vampire: the Eternal Struggle is a stupid name.

... You watched the movie Blade, and thought "well, they sure did rip off a lot of the WoD stuff to make that".

... Your nickname is the same name as Dracula's insect-eating "ghoul".

... You hiss when you see a sunrise.

... The sight of blood reminds you that you forgot to eat.

... You wonder if the cops actually came to your house because you figured out what clan they work for in your city, instead of just a disturbing the peace complaint.

... You say things like "fortitude" and "celerity" in everyday conversation.

... You think that people who were Goth first tend to make terrible RPers (there are exceptions).

... You left marks on your friends by biting them while wearing your acrylic fangs.

... You friends liked it and wanted you to do it again.

... You think Hot Topic stores are owned by Toreadors.

... You run into someone wearing a differant clan pin than you and instead of talking about WW games you eye them menacingly.

... You ever met the mayor or sheriff of your city and had the overwhelming urge to ghoul them.

... You fumed about the Page XX fiasco.

... You laughed when Clanbook Malk "fixed" it.

... You ever had a D&D character that was "killed" by a Vampire, and wanted to convert him into a WoD Elder.

... You have the new Vampires movie playing on DVD in the other room whilst reading this webpage.

... You've ever actually WORKED at Hot Topic (and thus realize that, in truth, the Toreador lost control of it to the Malkavians a long time ago).

... You have a pet theory about how the Malkavians and the Toreador are actually one clan.

... If twisted conspiracy movies like The Game and The Spanish Prisoner just don't surprise you much anymore, because you've been playing Vampire so long.

... You've ever done any cross-gender LARPing.

... You've realized that Lasombra Himself is not really dead (oops, I let the cat out of the bag).

... You introduce yourself by clan (which is, of course, a SERIOUS breach of the masquerade...watch out...we're watching...)

... You refer to vampires as that hollywood myth, prefering instead the term Kindred.

... You hesitate before walking on holy ground.

... Try to use your inate Obfuscate to avoid people by standing still.

... You start to learn foreign languages just so you can show off IC.

... Worse, you laugh insanely as people ask you "What did you just say?" and you reply "What, you don't know (Insert language here)...

... Worst, you are OFFENDED when people ask you what you just said.

... You watch people that you know and have successfully classified everyone as diffrent Clans.

... Your characters have started to give you Multiple Personality Disorder.

... Worse, they argue on a regular basis.

... Worst, no one ever wins.

... You went through a period of mourning when your first character died.

... Worse, you argued with the ST about it for at least an hour. (Hey, I had Fortitude 3...How could I have not survived? PLEASE don't do this to me!)

... Worst, you are still in grief counseling, but the psychiatrist says you should be fine with the help of those little white pills and a straight jacket.

... You call the TV show Kindred 90210 instead of "Kindred: The Embraced".

... Worse, you deny the existance of the previously mentioned show.

... Worst, your plotting to eliminate Aaron Spelling for getting it all wrong.